would one of you wonderful reader reach out and let me know how to link my Instagram to here.
Early day was great, again, did a lot of research about what it will mean to be a biochemist(Alchemist) and a lot of great ideas to add to my story:)! after arriving to work, things took a turn for the stranger than fiction, for some on lookers. After a small exchange with a coworker that I am normally at odds with, I asserted myself, vocally. I stood up for my actions and refused to be shut down by the threat of repercussion from my boss. The encounter with the boss was just as you might expect from my story so far. We parlayed a moment and he brought up topics that I could not find relevance in. I had brought up my coworker’s “alleged” use of methamphetamines and the damage it caused to the moral of other. I also voiced my disdain for the open acceptance of this substance in the workforce. I was informed that all drugs were bad. It seemed like he was trying to tell me some peoples drinking habits were akin to methamphetamine addiction.(I can’t make this sh*t up) The evening passed rather nicely, as the boss and I had calmed down. Until the point the only 2 people on our line was myself and another long time employee who had just recently returned from a nice vacation. He is another person I seem to clash with. The reasons are as valid are they as varied. For the sake of privacy, details will not become public.(Yes, some of it is THAT bad.) The atmosphere was tense at best. 20 Minutes before we closed (we are a casual sit down restaurant)(some of the cool things I cook are on Instagram, but I can’t figure out how to link it yet) a pair of people come in to time. The is my greatest all time pet peeve in the customer service industry. I become irritated, to the point of open hostility. This was another positive step for me. I asserted myself again, stating that there was no need to have 2 people cook 4 entrees. I also informed him that all cooking equipment was still on and that he would need to turn it off when finished. Normally I would have internalized everything and let the other cook go home instead.(Still only need 1 person for 4 meals) The other guy can do just as well at cooking any dinners our restaurant carries. So I walked away, much to his dismay. While he was obviously unhappy, I felt as though it was time for me to “put my foot down”. That helped me quite a bit with building my conflict resolution skills.
I have also let myself day dream about the possibility of finishing my doctorate at Harvard University. I did some research and supposedly they have the best Biochem program in the country. I am trying to talk myself into call their campus tomorrow and asking what path I would have to take to lead me to getting that done. To me, the never before thought of even getting a Bachelor’s degree is exhilarating, let alone thinking I could go for the Master’s and beyond. I am enjoying my internal time(thinking time) again. I crave to learn and experience again, rather than pay the bills until I die.
There are times recently that I struggle with accepting certain realities and letting the dreamer within me, dream once more of the improbable. So often I ground myself and bind the dreamer. (Keep telling myself “I’m just a line cook, I can’t do all that school stuff” You’re just having a midlife crisis that includes a complete and total mental, possibly even psychiatric break down. You’ll never get the money to go to school. You have to work a job. You can’t just walk away) I keep trying to convince myself that I will fail if I even try. Thanks for listening. When standing in the madhouse and you can see yourself and the patient and the doctor…that’s how I feel fight now.
shaanti hamesha aapake saath rahe (going to keep on having fun with using google translator to say nice things you all)