Still can’t wrap

Still can’t wrap my head around everything that went on today.  I’m in the midst of sensory overload.

I went to the University of Northern Iowa  for a very enjoyable campus tour.  The guides were not used to the barrage of questions I had for them.  After speaking with a Dr. Strauss, of their Chemistry Dept. I was inspire to slightly shift my focus of study.  After sharing the cliff notes of my theories and plans, she suggested (somewhat insistently, thank you Dr.!) that I look into the Molecular Biology program at Iowa State University.  I have submitted applications and signed up for a tour around ISU after my anniversary celebration.

I have tried to subconsciously sabotage myself all day.  “I should just turn around, I won’t fit in there”  “I can’t do all this”  “It’s too much” “Cooking and playing video games is so much easier”

I am relieved that it is getting easier to acknowledge when “it’s all in my head”.  Most of the progress today was so long over due, but it felt amazing.  Keep reaching out to me, or even one another.  None of use are making out of this life alive, lets all make the best go at it we can.  I will do my part to cure depression, OCD, and other mental illnesses, you all do what you enjoy.  We’ll all meet in the middle somewhere for a nice rest in some while.

There are still a few people very close to me that are resistant to the change.  I will be as patient as I can, even if I don’t understand why.

Good night


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