Working through this depression and rebuilding has been the hardest thing I’ve have ever accomplished. With the reinvigorated mental health, I am driven more. The last few days have been very erratic, internally. Living with my head in the clouds is wonderful, and even though I was accomplishing quite a lot, I was/am not making much progress with forward life movement in the way I want. You see, I want to drop everything right now. I want to just start the external journey now. If I take that action, everything bit of unsettled business would be left behind. The core problem is, I don’t have a problem with that. I feel as though “I’ve been through enough”. Even as I type this, I realize that I am mnemonically etching this phase of life into it’s own compartment. Complete with music type, scents, and foods. The interesting part is my subconscious is working to HELP me get past those pitfalls. I’m forcing myself to eat a large variety of items. Ensuring that no single food can be dropped and forgotten about(along with all memories). The scents are being slowly curtailed, keeping a slow flow of different types.(Cooking breads, burning incense, opening windows, etc.) The music is being a challenge. I’m sticking to one genre, with only a few deviations. At a loss as to how to work around this hick up.
Yesterday, while I was in the process of using the Parchments.com site, I was asked my list of colleges I was interested in. I gave it 5 options, University of Northern Iowa, Iowa State University, University of California, Los Angles, Pepperdine University, and Harvard University. This was based on, in order, what I believed my more likely cases would be. Harvard, to me, is my dream college. They seek true scholars who want to take an active role in changing the world itself. People with unique stories. They seek those who will only use what they teach them for the betterment of all, rather than just teaching someone how to work someplace until you die. I was so very inspired by what I have learned about them.
With all of that being said, I have only completed 19% of my profile with parchment.com. The parchment.com site has a fantastic feature in that it calculates your chances of getting in each school you look in to, and more. My list is as follows; Iowa State my chance 27% vs their 86% overall(they accept 86% of the people that EVER apply) University of Northern Iowa 2%/77%, Pepperdine 6%/35%<much more realistic numbers here>, UCLA 22%/18% (whoa, that’s cool) and finally, one of my newest goals, Harvard University 39%/5%. That last number has be more excited about possibilities than ever before. Either the algorithm for the site is bad, or I really do belong in Harvard. It was great trying to wrap my head around that fact that, knowing ONLY the basic info requested by a simple 3rd party website(I’m guessing it watches for anomalous pings to get their attention) I have a 33% better chance then ANY other person that applies(skew those numbers all you want, it’s my dream darn it). I’ll just have to figure out how to get one of their admissions agents to read my WordPress blog and GFM page. That should get us on a better track to connect with one another. THEN we can see if the shoe really fits.(It’s not made of glass, so there is really no hurry). If any of you have a contact somewhere, closer to Harvard than I do, please share this info with them. I know I have something great to add to their vast pool of scholars and philosophers. I want to be one of them.
Tons to get stuff done, my fragmented life won’t fix itself. Icarus be darned, my wings are not man made.
Update, Parchment.com profile now 100% complete. New results, ISU 37%/86%, Pepperdine 1%/35%, UCLA 1%/18%, UNI 2%/77%, Harvard 40%/5%. Now I’ll have to see if that % is loud enough to get someone’s attention.