Recovering from vacation

Who would have thought that one might need to recover from a vacation.  Part of managing depression and OCD is recognizing that it is actively happening to you, not passively, as I once thought.  I felt as thought I had crashed, mentally.  There were too many stimuli shocking my system so it reverted into a depressed stasis.  It took the entire day to come to that realization.  Modern medicine does not have the proper treatments.  There has to be something organic and natural that occurs to assist our own bodies in an actual healing process.  It could even be a mixture of effects.  Such as, music, scent, visual stimulus, and even interpersonal communications.  As learned in the Trivium, all sounds have meaning and purpose.  I will have to look into each effect in it’s own and then combine each at different intervals.  There has to have been some catalyst in the last few months for me to have changed internally so much.  Not so much changed as reopened.  I mentioned earlier compartmentalizing negative events with audio, video, and olfactory stimuli.  Once a certain amount of stimuli that can’t be forgotten due to OCD cells over firing, that external stimuli can be stopped, thus being able to “forget” the previous built up over stimuli.  Now I just have to start figuring out a way to afford getting to college and learning what I need to prove my theory.  Beyond selling everything in the house we don’t use, each of us(my wife and I) are looking into any way we can think of to raise enough to keep the family supported while I look for work in CT before even trying to make the move.  I get really depressed thinking about finances, but I pray I find a way.  I need this cure.  We need this cure.  We are not alone.  I will find a way to help everyone.

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