In the beginning of this year I started experiencing my mid life crisis. On top of that I came to understand that my anti anxiety medication was doing far more harm than good. The initial shock and realization of the situation I was in had me very alarmed. I started to franticly search for some exterior stimuli to kick start myself again. Through the months since then I have come to understand that it was not my exterior that needed changes, it was my interior crying for help. I have kept the blog since near the start of the internal change. Many of you have been here from the start. I cannot say I’m 100%, but I’m well on my way to healing inside.
The next steps are unclear to me. Not being able to afford college is a set back, so I have to come up with new ideas for moving forward. I am grateful to God for my recovery. Without his divine grace I would have shattered some time ago.
I still have dreams of going to the east coast, I simply have to find other routes. My OCD still has a massive effect on me. Until I figure out how to control it better, I have to stick to what I know how to do, cooking for a living. I will continue to study philosophy and psychology without a specific school for now. The information is out there, I just have to find it.
I know that I have a good life and I am grateful. I don’t keep writing here just for myself. I keep pushing because I know there are others out there like me. We need to find a cure for OCD, not just a workaround. Thanks for listening today. Until next time, peace to you and yours.