I have been able to recall most all of the negative factors that I let control my life. My challenge now is to cope with them and make peace within myself so I can move forward. When I first met my wife, I learned early on of some dark things that have happened to her. I had thought I was saving her. I may have assisted in some ways, but she has, in turn helped save me from myself. Since she has had to deal with those memories for so long, she is very understanding and supportive of me while I have gone through this breakdown and rebuilding process.
This blog has been a wonderful source of sharing. I know I have said this before, but for those of you who have not considered writing/reading other peoples blogs, I would suggest you dive in to WordPress for a few minutes. This is a forum for people from all over the world to share their lives in glorious goriest detail. It is what reality TV should have been. It is pure and unscripted life, full of an ocean of emotions. You can read and see the beautiful things your neighbors perceive. It make me believe there is a chance for the world to change. If more people can see that we are all so similar, then we can simply stop acknowledging the divides to push us apart.
As I have been working through my depression and as I learn to cope with OCD, I have delved deep into introspection and philosophy as a means of understanding the how and why of human behavior. I think that if I can understand myself better, that I can reach out to others and understand them better. Thus allowing me to find a better way for mass numbers of people to work through their own depression, rather than medicating it with pharmaceutical drugs that do more harm than good, to some. Now if I can just figure out how to put this all together and make it make sense. Less people would have to pay to feel better. Less people would have to spend so much on trying to get healed internally. They could gain the strength and self confidence that comes from dealing with your issues head on. Accepting yourself is a long process, but it is possible.
And maybe, just maybe, once the majority realize they can help themselves, then we can reach out to one another. We can all then start working towards real and lasting peace. The war machine can take a rest. We the people can take care of the rest.
I think I’ve said enough for now, I’m just a simple man. But I swear, if I can reach this point of understanding, anyone can. I like to believe there is hope again. So I can start to cope, again. Cope with a reality that reeks of racism still. Cope with seeing that sexism just can’t die. Coping with the fact that sexual assault still assaults our friends and family. I was hoping this world would be better by now. I grew up believing that one day all of the petty things that tear us asunder would be nothing but past memories. Like the scars inside of me. Like the scars inside of you. Everyone person in this world is given free will. Free to take any action. Free to say any words. It’s time for the billions and billions of quiet souls to shout now. Shout at our world itself. Remind ourselves that we are more than just the sum total of our cell phones and social media accounts. For a simple man that had enough to say, I guess I sure had more just sitting around in the corners of my mind. Words that I think might help just one or two people, so they can help a few and so on and so forth until we hear that popcorn sound.
I am inspired to write by artists I listen to and by the stories I’ve read on here. Along with the wonderful Instagram stories I follow. I’ve learned that normally the nicest people have the deepest scars, because they don’t want anyone else to feel what they have. I’ve learned that faith comes in every shape and size. I’ve learned that people have not forgotten how to be amazing. From the performers at the Warped Tour, to the magnificent sponsors, to the person who transformed right in front of me in the Watsky line.
There is hope for us all still.
Thanks for listen. Until next time, peace to you and yours.
Side note- My wife has been grown her nail tech business very nicely, check her out at https://www.facebook.com/Ladybugsnailsalon/posts/1854932878157668?notif_t=notify_me_page¬if_id=1501253941122608 thanks!