one constant; Music

When dealing with OCD, I have to figure out what are temporary obsessions and what are true likes.  In this path in internal discovery I have found only a few.  Music is one of them.  I sang in high school, studied it college, and just keep listening to the myriad of types that continue to develop.  It’s come so far in the very short time I’ve been alive.  It has always held people with it’s power.  From the songs repeated from generation to generation to pass on family history, bards of old roaming city to city singing tales of wonder.  It can be used for war, the beat and flow can control mass movements of troops. Used to rally or signal retreat.  It has transformed into one of the ultimate arts that exist.  As sure as any geometric equation, music is a constant in our lives.

After being able to enjoy the Warped Tour I have really started diving back into music and the stories behind the most recent musical transformations.  It has also inspired me to put more effort back into my cooking skills.  I may not be a musician, but I am a chef.  I create for the mouth what music does for our ears.  I cook mostly fresh cut steaks, with a variety of other entrees like the fish dishes I use in my recipe book.  I don’t put steak recipes, because beef is different for everyone.  Each person enjoys different cuts and temperatures.  Each pair gives a varied texture and flavor bouquet.  So a single recipe would do only a select few any good.  I plan on diving back into discovering new ideas for cooking and making our restaurant even bigger than it is now.



Talapia tonight

I have been hyper focused on internal Alchemy, so tonight I am diverting from that to share another recipe.

You’ll want to preheat your oven to 400f.  This recipe calls for one 5 oz filet of Talapia, as well as 3/4 cup of grated parmesan cheese, a sprinkling of paprika, salt, pepper, a small amount of chopped parsley, and about a table spoon of olive oil.  Line an oven safe baking dish with tin foil.  Slather the olive oil to the topside of your fish, once you have placed it in the tin foiled pan.  Mix the dry ingredients in a small bowl and cake that on your fish filet in a nice thin layer.  Bake that for approximately 15 minutes.  This is Parmesan Crusted Talapi and it’s delicious!

Salmon again

I tend to enjoy making our salmon into something fun.  Today I’ll share my recipe for fun salmon with asparagus.  Lets get started!  Start with an 8oz salmon portion, 3 oz of Sweet Chili Sauce, 2 orange slices, brown sugar (quantities will vary), 2 cups of Rice Pilaf(or your favorite rice selection), 10 asparagus spears, 4 slices of bacon, a sprinkling of crushed red pepper flakes.  Preheat oven to 350f.  Score the salmon horizontally with 1/2 inch between each cut.  Then cut the fish in 1/2 the same way.  Place the orange slices in your pan and place 1 portion of salmon on each.  Pour 1 1/2 oz of the sweet chili sauce onto each portion of salmon(feel free to use more, as you like).  Wrap 5 spears of asparagus with 2 slices of bacon each.  Mix a small amount of brown sugar with your crushed red pepper flakes in a small dish.  Roll your bacon wrapped asparagus in that mixture until there is a nice coating on the bacon.  Place those soon to be amazing rolls of delicious into you pan with the salmon.  Place in the oven and bake for approximately 12 minutes.  Until your salmon is cooked to you liking.  Serve your now wonderful salmon on a bed of 1 cup of rice(less if you are not as hungry as I am right now).  The photo is one version without bacon wrapped asparagus.IMG_20170405_000202_616

College at 43

Getting accepted, setting up financing, and finding a place to rent from so far away is an incredible challenge.  Not to mention all the hurdles in each of those steps.

Some days I feel the challenge could be too daunting for me.  I know better, but doubt and depression go hand in hand.  I have been overwhelmed the past couple weeks.  I feel too much, think too much, react too much.  All because I want something more from life.  I don’t want the burden of OCD for the rest of my days.  I have no idea how to stop it, but I have to find out.  There has to be a biological reason that my cells don’t act/react the same as other people.  There also has to be a way to fix that.  Emotions and feelings are cellular reactions.  They are a physical response to stimuli.  Therefor there should be a reasonable way to repair a mis wired or malfunctioning set of molecules.  If depression can be lifted, even temporarily, by any means, then it is logical to believe that mental disorders can be fixed.  Cured.  The body can be healed, I just don’t know how yet.  Some kind of plant?  My favorite theory is the use of nanites to scrub the cells clean and repair any damage.  If they can do that, then they could rewire them to behave normally.  These are the things I think about as I cook at work.  This is what consumes so much of my time lately.  I’m obsessing over having Obsessive Compulsive Disorder…to me, that’s funny.

Peace to you and yours, from me and mine.  I hope your troubles flee from you.  I hope your days go well.  I hope the suns shines on you.

A normal day.

In recent months my life has been a jumble.  My once consistent pattern of routines has been disrupted by the internal need to change.  Change BACK to what I think I should have been, had my depression and OCD not ruled my actions for so long.

Today I am going to try and just have a  normal day.  No stressing about the future or the past.  Lately, when I try to take a day to let my mind rest, I feel guilty.  I feel like I had been at rest for so long, that if I try now, it’s just a total waste.  But a wise friend of mine nudged me a couple weeks ago.  Telling me that even now I need to let stuff go, for short periods of time.  I am paraphrasing, but the meaning is the same.  Even when we went to Skyzone and the go kart place on Sunday, I was constantly thinking about what needed to be done.  On the topic of Sunday, it was the first time my sons had ever driven go karts.  It was amazing fun.

I hope that all of you enjoy your day.  If I can help you, I will:)  Some one pick an ingredient and I’ll write a recipe for it:)

I like to cook fish, but not eat it.(another recipe)

We serve salmon at the restaurant I work at and I really enjoy taking such a mundane frozen product and making it into something far greater.  This time I’m adding one of the specials I have run at our restaurant.  I’ll just copy and paste this one from here to the recipe book.

#8 Frozen Atlantic Farmed Salmon transformed.

I use a simple stainless steel broiling pan for this, you can use a ceramic or glass too.  This takes a bit, so I’ll try to keep the steps more organized.

We’ll start with all the mise en place first, for once.  Preheat the oven to 350 Fahrenheit.  Collect 1 Salmon filet, 6 oz,  2 oz of sesame oil, 1 oz of soy sauce, 2 oz teriyaki sauce, 5 pieces of candied ginger, 3 small pieces of pineapple, 1 small can of pineapple juice, salt, pepper, 1 oz of honey, crushed red pepper flakes, ground ginger, 2 slices of orange, 1 small sheet of tin foil.

First, line your pan with the tin foil, this recipe can make a pan hard to clean.  Drizzle 1/2 of the sesame oil into a small area roughly the size of your salmon into that foil area. Set the 2 slices of orange onto that oil side by side, as a bed for your salmon. Place the salmon on the oranges and drizzle the rest of the oil onto it.  Next add 3/4 of the can of pineapple juice to the pan NOT onto the salmon, as it would wash off your oil.  Lightly salt and pepper the salmon before cooking.  Sprinkle some ground ginger onto the fish as well.  Place the pan into your oven for roughly 5 minutes.  Slide the rack out, so you can now pour in the soy sauce onto your cooking fish.  Cover the fish with the teriyaki and honey.  Put the 3 pieces of pineapple into the juices of your pan.  If you like a little spice, add the crushed red peppers at this stage also.  Return the oven rack back into place.  Let your fish finish cooking to your desired internal temperature IF you are using a sushi grade fish.  Otherwise let it cook for another 5-7 minutes.  When the time is up, take the pan out of the oven and let it rest for 5 more minutes.  Garnish it with the candied ginger on top.  Server still on the orange slices.  This is my Ginger and Citrus Salmon.

Side option:  Add 3-5 spears of fresh asparagus into the pan.  Cook it on 1 slice of lime, 1 slice of lemon.  Add only a dash of salt and pepper, if you enjoy that.

Pressing on

Fighting through depression is much like walking off a broken leg.  You can feel the maelstrom raging inside.  I know WHY I’m so rough, but not how to get rid of it so easy.  So many of us know what it’s like.  To me that’s actually heart breaking.  It’s 2017 and we still have to struggle with depression and other seemingly simple mental ailments.  Seems a touch barbaric that all we are trying to do through pharmaceutical means is to just cover the symptoms.  That mindset is archaic at best.  Your leg is broken, if we just stop the bleeding and the pain, you will be just fine.  Sound about right?

I’ve been having troubles with writing lately.  I want to share less and less.  I can feel myself withdrawing and it unnerves me.  Today was Memorial day and there was a nice presentation at our local park.  My son played in the band as  they played music from all of the USA armed forces.  They read off a list of people from the city I live in, who died in service to our country.  Mind you our town is only about 3000ish people.  The list was 10%+ of that number.  Our town was full of patriots and countrymen who saw our country as something great and worth dying for.  Do many still feel that way today?  Do we believe Donald Trump will lead us into our great future?  Do we trust in our nation at all?  Do we trust those we elect to actually do the right thing?  These are all troubling to me lately.  The age we are in is one that seems to get darker all the time.  We war so much, but now I question if we are the good guys.  Are we saving people from tyranny and oppression?  Or are we lining our pockets with blood money?  Best part is, would we believe ANY answer we are given any more?

Some forces even seem to be trying to rip God out of our country, even though we were founded by some pretty devout people.  Not clergymen, but normal people that just believed in a power greater than they were.

All of this from a simple line cook, soon to be student(again).  Peace to you and yours.

Jarred Brown-


The Future is Now.

This will be part of the mission statement of my Biotech company that I will build, one day.  Lead by a board of directors that focus on morals and ethics, rather than bottom lines.  I will create a company focused on healing the human body.  With branches in entertainment and luxury for income.  Also perhaps a defense branch, because we still live in a violent world.  This is my goal.  My dream.  It will focus on R&D of Biochemical, Biomedical, and Biomechanical means of repairing the human body.

For now though, I have to go be a chef:)  Have a wonderful day.                                                -Jarred Brown, dreamer and idealist.