What do you see?

Here is a good one.  When you look at the world, what do you see?  Countries, economies, and armies?  Hollywood, Bollywood, or Broadway?  Buildings built by our predecessors for us  to inhabit until we die and pass them on to the next?  Do you see the population as friends, strangers, enemies, or family?  I see us as one.  We are all connected, but there are powers that be that force wedges between us.  We are all humans on the same planet, our perceptions vary, but we’re all here.  The sky is the same, the earth is the same.  Small minded people will argue semantics of sky sections or dirt/rock/sand types.  In the end we are all just people trying to understand our place in the chaotic existence.  I believe some find solace in not looking so far into the meaning of it all.  We should all be sharing our resources and knowledge for the betterment of humankind.  Nothing beyond that should matter, but we fill up our time making reasons to be bothered by the inconsequential.  I guess I’m not saying to love one another, just don’t bother hating anyone.  There exists so many saying, phrases, and statements that say something similar I know I’m not alone in this.

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an interesting quote

“Destiny rarely calls us at a moment of our choosing.”  After watching Guardians of  the Galaxy 2 for the 2nd time, this time with my father, I thought about that quote, from the 2nd Transformers movie.  It rings true for me.  I feel like the recent chain of events leading to my drastic life change is similar to the quote.  I was content where I was.  I no longer wanted to strive for anything more.  I believed that here in the USA we had real freedom.  I was ok with us struggling to pay our bills from month to month.  Don’t get me wrong, there is absolutely nothing wrong with what I was doing and how we were living.  By some standards it is luxurious.  But something inside was awaken.  I have not pushed myself since my time in the USAF.  I have only lived within my comfort zone for more than 20 years.  To some this is a fine way to be, to me it is not.

I have, deep down, always wanted to make a difference in this world.  I have to find a way to cure depression.  Not just cover it’s symptoms, but heal the ailment as it exists.  Certain levels of depression are crippling, therefor is reasonable to believe that it does act like a persistent disease.  If it acts like it, it’s possible that there is some type of biological element causing it.  So it should be curable.  There are medicines that relieve the symptoms.  There are herbs that lift it, albeit temporarily.  If it can be manipulated by medicine, it should be healable.  The only reason not to cure it, is that it is more cost effective to treat it.  Just like so many things in the USA medical system.

In my opinion, which is rather obscure to most people, the people of the world should not have to pay for certain things, such as food, medicine, knowledge, and shelter.  These should all be communal necessities, the burden shared by every member.  The profits should be on luxuries such as vehicles, fine dining, travel, entertainment, and other extracurricular activities.  People should work because they choose to, as their purpose in life, not because they need to sell their time to pay to eat, so they can work more, to pay to be treated for ailments caused by working too much, and so on and so forth.  We have been taught to be grateful of our servitude.  “Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country.” In this famous speech, it means the exact opposite of what it sounds like.  JFK’s speech is about the USA leading the world to a better place.  To defend freedom from it’s hour of maximum danger.  It feels like our country and lost it’s way.  He wanted the world to unite.  “Ask not what American will do for you, but what together we can do for the freedom of man.”  That is where we were meant to be.  “God’s work must truly be our own.”

Dr. Martin Luther King was another visionary such as Franklin Delano Roosevelt and John F. Kennedy.  He saw beyond what was holding us back.  He stood up, as any hero does, and moved us in the right direction.

All of those men were called upon, by destiny, to sacrifice themselves, their normal lives, for the greater good of humanity.  They are not the only ones, by ANY means, they are simply the ones that I know best.  Maybe I have been called.  Will I ever even know?  Or will my legacy tell my story.  Time will tell us HIS plan.

It is the civic duty of every American to entertain these thoughts.  Remember where we came from.  See the injustice around us.  Stand up against the those injustices.  Be the shelter to the tired, the poor, the yearning masses waiting to breathe free.  We should be proud of what our government stands for.  Instead of bowing our heads and looking away from the corruption of the systems.  We have the power to change it.  We should not be a world divided.  Liberty and Justice should be the right all mankind.  It should also be THEIR right to choose it.

I want to think that my ideals are shared by many, but I know I’m wrong.

 

 

I want to believe

Right off of Fox Mulder’s wall.  But what I want to believe in, is humanity.  I want to believe that we will push towards the utopia that Gene Roddenberry imagined in the Star Trek universe.  That is preached about in many religions.  That world that exists in which there are no adversaries among our own kind.  We stop having such negative thoughts about people that have absolutely no effect on our lives what so ever.  Race, gender, sex, religion, or even age.

I think we are too far from it for me to see it in my lifespan, sadly, but maybe my kids will enjoy it.

This is why I will study philosophy, religion, psychology, and biochemistry.  I want to learn how to understand all the people of the world.  I want to find the similarities that exists in every walk of life.  I choose biochemistry to find the way to finally lift the mass depression that seems to cover so many people.  So that they can learn to dream and believe again too.  It might sound crazy, but I believe anything is possible here on earth.

“Without change, something sleeps inside us, and seldom awakens.  The sleeper must awaken” – Frank Herbert.

College at 43

Getting accepted, setting up financing, and finding a place to rent from so far away is an incredible challenge.  Not to mention all the hurdles in each of those steps.

Some days I feel the challenge could be too daunting for me.  I know better, but doubt and depression go hand in hand.  I have been overwhelmed the past couple weeks.  I feel too much, think too much, react too much.  All because I want something more from life.  I don’t want the burden of OCD for the rest of my days.  I have no idea how to stop it, but I have to find out.  There has to be a biological reason that my cells don’t act/react the same as other people.  There also has to be a way to fix that.  Emotions and feelings are cellular reactions.  They are a physical response to stimuli.  Therefor there should be a reasonable way to repair a mis wired or malfunctioning set of molecules.  If depression can be lifted, even temporarily, by any means, then it is logical to believe that mental disorders can be fixed.  Cured.  The body can be healed, I just don’t know how yet.  Some kind of plant?  My favorite theory is the use of nanites to scrub the cells clean and repair any damage.  If they can do that, then they could rewire them to behave normally.  These are the things I think about as I cook at work.  This is what consumes so much of my time lately.  I’m obsessing over having Obsessive Compulsive Disorder…to me, that’s funny.

Peace to you and yours, from me and mine.  I hope your troubles flee from you.  I hope your days go well.  I hope the suns shines on you.

A normal day.

In recent months my life has been a jumble.  My once consistent pattern of routines has been disrupted by the internal need to change.  Change BACK to what I think I should have been, had my depression and OCD not ruled my actions for so long.

Today I am going to try and just have a  normal day.  No stressing about the future or the past.  Lately, when I try to take a day to let my mind rest, I feel guilty.  I feel like I had been at rest for so long, that if I try now, it’s just a total waste.  But a wise friend of mine nudged me a couple weeks ago.  Telling me that even now I need to let stuff go, for short periods of time.  I am paraphrasing, but the meaning is the same.  Even when we went to Skyzone and the go kart place on Sunday, I was constantly thinking about what needed to be done.  On the topic of Sunday, it was the first time my sons had ever driven go karts.  It was amazing fun.

I hope that all of you enjoy your day.  If I can help you, I will:)  Some one pick an ingredient and I’ll write a recipe for it:)

Trust Issues

Just recently I entered a verbal agreement with a local shop owner to sell some of my old collectable cards on consignment.  While for the most part everything seems on the up and up, I am noticing that not every sale is being credited to me.  There is no written agreement, so I cannot press the issue, but I really dislike that anyone would deal in a less than upfront and honest manner.  Most would consider my actions naïve, and while I agree, why can’t people just be honest and trustworthy?  Why is that no longer a trait that is exemplified in our business owners?  Have we as a country fallen so far that the norm is now to cheat, scam, or otherwise screw someone over?

The more I test peoples character, the more disappointment I get to experience.  Our work environment is another mine field of trust issues ranging from dependability to outright having to avoid hostile situations as they occur.  Should we all just give up and treat every person with suspicion?  I don’t want to.  I will continue to naively believe that each person can, when called upon in some manner, rise above what is normal and act in a manner more fitting a civilized society.  I will go out of my way to compliment people.  I will hold doors open for anyone.  I will continue to offer assistance, when the situation is dire.  I have been burned 1000’s of times, but I refuse to give in.  Have a great day, each and every one of you.  Peace to you and yours.

an odd coincidence

My favorite Netflix original got cancelled today.  Sense8.  Read this article: http://www.msn.com/en-us/tv/news/%E2%80%98sense8%E2%80%99-cancellation-makes-twitter-lose-its-mind-%E2%80%93-especially-on-day-1-of-pride-month/ar-BBBMT23?li=BBmkt5R&ocid=spartandhp

if you would like to see an opinion of why.  I happen to think there is no such thing as coincidence.  Cancelling a show that feature truest equality all across the board on the day a LGBT pride month starts.  That is quite a loud message, in my opinion.  I’m ready to see the future we all believed in.  Where everyone was equal, just like it says.  No lines, no mention of race, sex, gender, or religion.  Just us, the human race, treating each other as equals.  Respectful, polite, courteous, and even helpful.  There should be no “coincidence” about this subject.

I really hope I’m not alone in this.  Every person is the same, in a manner.  How can we not treat each the same.  Fairness, Karma, Justice.  Every person should be identified by their name and attitude.  No other factor matters at the point of first contact.  Even beyond that, a preconceived idea about a person based on information gained from any other person of similar feature is wrong.  Their personal life beyond the moment of contact is irrelevant to any other person at any other time.  If they like something you don’t, it’s not your concern.  If you make it your concern, you are wrong.  You can choose to never associate with any undesirable human.  We have to return to reason, because what I see going on lately, is unreasonable.

 

Pressing on

Fighting through depression is much like walking off a broken leg.  You can feel the maelstrom raging inside.  I know WHY I’m so rough, but not how to get rid of it so easy.  So many of us know what it’s like.  To me that’s actually heart breaking.  It’s 2017 and we still have to struggle with depression and other seemingly simple mental ailments.  Seems a touch barbaric that all we are trying to do through pharmaceutical means is to just cover the symptoms.  That mindset is archaic at best.  Your leg is broken, if we just stop the bleeding and the pain, you will be just fine.  Sound about right?

I’ve been having troubles with writing lately.  I want to share less and less.  I can feel myself withdrawing and it unnerves me.  Today was Memorial day and there was a nice presentation at our local park.  My son played in the band as  they played music from all of the USA armed forces.  They read off a list of people from the city I live in, who died in service to our country.  Mind you our town is only about 3000ish people.  The list was 10%+ of that number.  Our town was full of patriots and countrymen who saw our country as something great and worth dying for.  Do many still feel that way today?  Do we believe Donald Trump will lead us into our great future?  Do we trust in our nation at all?  Do we trust those we elect to actually do the right thing?  These are all troubling to me lately.  The age we are in is one that seems to get darker all the time.  We war so much, but now I question if we are the good guys.  Are we saving people from tyranny and oppression?  Or are we lining our pockets with blood money?  Best part is, would we believe ANY answer we are given any more?

Some forces even seem to be trying to rip God out of our country, even though we were founded by some pretty devout people.  Not clergymen, but normal people that just believed in a power greater than they were.

All of this from a simple line cook, soon to be student(again).  Peace to you and yours.

Jarred Brown-

 

Current state of medicine

I just watched a commercial for an anti depressant called Trintellix http://www.rxlist.com/trintellix-side-effects-drug-center.htm                                                     https://us.trintellix.com/about/frequently-asked-questions

These are it’s side effects.  This is a real thing, approved by our United States of America Food and Drug Administration.  ARE YOU KIDDING ME?  I’m paraphrasing but “You might feel better, but you WILL suffer many side effects”  This cannot be real.  That’s like putting a DIRTY bandage on an open wound!

Are they hoping to scare the depression out of us?  Do they even know what the f they are treating?  I think licking a Colorado River Toad would be a less risky alternative.  For heavens safe can we stop with the tom foolery.

/rant off.  This is why I keep pushing, how about you?

 

a word on Faith

I like “what if” questions.  They have been asked by some of the greatest minds in the world.  Throughout history “what if” has helped guide us to better places.

What if the world is NOT flat?  What if we could feed EVERYONE?  What if we could heal EVERYONE?  What if…what if every religion holds truth in it?  What if we are not supposed to be infighting?  What if we are supposed to bridge the gaps in humanity with each different faith.  Believe in one another.  Instead of doubt, smile at someone you don’t understand.  Ask them about why they feel the way they do.  LISTEN to them, don’t wait for your turn to talk.  Don’t hold a pre conceived notion that they are wrong and you are right, and vise versa.  Try to understand what they mean.  Reach out to them, instead of push them away.

Didn’t we learn in school to read the WHOLE story and then give our opinion and idea of what it meant?  Why should we treat any other human differently?  I think so much is lost in translation that we forget to form our own real opinions.  We rely on media and celebrities to tell us how we’re supposed to react and feel about situations.

We are still all the same species.  The same race.  I don’t see any orcs or elves around.  Some might argue there are trolls alive on the internet, but they are just angry humans.  Many yearn to be heard.  So many yearn for validation of their existence.

I tried an experiment lately.  I go out of my way to say nice things about people.  No matter the race/sex/gender/religion/age.  I tell people it’s nice to see them.  Because it is.  I don’t say these things to lie to a person, I pick something out that I like.  Nice hair!  Cool hat!  That head wrap is a really neat pattern.  Your name sounds interesting.  I like your accent.  It’s very easy.

I hope you all have a great day.  I am going to spend the rest of mine with my family.

Remember.  You are not alone.