Lyrics that make sense

I was just listening to a great artist, George Watsky.  One of his lines hit home really nicely.  “There’s 7 billion 47 million people on this planet and most of us have the audacity to think that we matter.”  He then follows up later in the song, Tiny Glowing Screens; part 2, with “And I’m celebrating on the weekends because there are 7 billion 47 million people on the planet and I have the audacity to think that I matter, I know it’s a lie, but I prefer it to the alternative.”

I smiled when I heard this song, because it rings very true lately.  I have the audacity to think that I can make a difference in this world.  I have the gall to believe that I was meant for something greater.  I contemplate greatness, because the alternative is just not appealing.  My blog is small, I’m not connected to very many people on my social network, but I want to believe that I can reach the masses one day.  I want to believe that I will make an impact, for the better, on this planet.  God has a plan for me, I don’t know what it is, but I will keep pushing until I have nothing left, then I will push farther until I collapse.  Peace to you and yours!


I want to believe

Right off of Fox Mulder’s wall.  But what I want to believe in, is humanity.  I want to believe that we will push towards the utopia that Gene Roddenberry imagined in the Star Trek universe.  That is preached about in many religions.  That world that exists in which there are no adversaries among our own kind.  We stop having such negative thoughts about people that have absolutely no effect on our lives what so ever.  Race, gender, sex, religion, or even age.

I think we are too far from it for me to see it in my lifespan, sadly, but maybe my kids will enjoy it.

This is why I will study philosophy, religion, psychology, and biochemistry.  I want to learn how to understand all the people of the world.  I want to find the similarities that exists in every walk of life.  I choose biochemistry to find the way to finally lift the mass depression that seems to cover so many people.  So that they can learn to dream and believe again too.  It might sound crazy, but I believe anything is possible here on earth.

“Without change, something sleeps inside us, and seldom awakens.  The sleeper must awaken” – Frank Herbert.

a word on Faith

I like “what if” questions.  They have been asked by some of the greatest minds in the world.  Throughout history “what if” has helped guide us to better places.

What if the world is NOT flat?  What if we could feed EVERYONE?  What if we could heal EVERYONE?  What if…what if every religion holds truth in it?  What if we are not supposed to be infighting?  What if we are supposed to bridge the gaps in humanity with each different faith.  Believe in one another.  Instead of doubt, smile at someone you don’t understand.  Ask them about why they feel the way they do.  LISTEN to them, don’t wait for your turn to talk.  Don’t hold a pre conceived notion that they are wrong and you are right, and vise versa.  Try to understand what they mean.  Reach out to them, instead of push them away.

Didn’t we learn in school to read the WHOLE story and then give our opinion and idea of what it meant?  Why should we treat any other human differently?  I think so much is lost in translation that we forget to form our own real opinions.  We rely on media and celebrities to tell us how we’re supposed to react and feel about situations.

We are still all the same species.  The same race.  I don’t see any orcs or elves around.  Some might argue there are trolls alive on the internet, but they are just angry humans.  Many yearn to be heard.  So many yearn for validation of their existence.

I tried an experiment lately.  I go out of my way to say nice things about people.  No matter the race/sex/gender/religion/age.  I tell people it’s nice to see them.  Because it is.  I don’t say these things to lie to a person, I pick something out that I like.  Nice hair!  Cool hat!  That head wrap is a really neat pattern.  Your name sounds interesting.  I like your accent.  It’s very easy.

I hope you all have a great day.  I am going to spend the rest of mine with my family.

Remember.  You are not alone.

We are all gifted.

My gifts are creativity, imagination, compassion, empathy, humor, and hope.  My hope is that we won’t stay in our current depressed state for much longer.  Every day is a step closer.

What are yours?  Your words?  Your actions?  We all have them, we don’t always acknowledge them.  Can you smile even though the pain is overwhelming?  Can you keep a stiff upper lip in a battle you don’t feel you can win?  Do you go out of your way to make others feel good?  Make them laugh?  Do you stand up every day, even though all you want to do is not move?  You are not alone in your struggles.

This message was not for everyone, but there are a few that need to hear it now.  Thanks for reading!

Sense8 Season 1 and 2

This title says it.  Sense8 is a Netflix Original that I would highly recommend.  The story is amazingly intricate and interwoven.  The show itself is a beautiful tapestry of stories that can been seen as 1 and yet 8, at the same time.  The actors/actress’ are all phenomenal in their roles.  Each can reach out to at least one viewer, in the end, you yourself can feel connected to each character by proxy.  Parts of the show even seem relevant to real life issues.

Great day with Mom!

Today I made breakfast for my Mom, Dad, wife, and children.  Spent the day enjoying their company until I had to go to work.  The workplace is still rough.  Went to church for the first time in who knows how long.  It was a really nice service at the Clear Lake Christian Church.  The message today was from Habakkuk.  It holds true today.  I hope everyone had a great day!

Another moment of doubt

I’m sitting here, nearly paralyzed with fear.  Not fear of failure, a fear of succeeding.  The past few months have been a maelstrom of highs and lows.  Picture yourself in a galleon at sea in a storm.  I feel as though I am only in eye of the storm, waiting for another massive blast depression.  I have not stopped to consider that the storm just might be over.  I do not believe in myself enough to stop for a moment and believe it will work out in my favor(resulting in a benefit to many of us that suffer from depression, anxiety, and other disorders).  These are the reasons I push myself just a little bit more every day.  I feel alone.  When I finally remember that there are so many others like me.  Paralyzed by “clogged” cells.  Depression is brutal.  OCD makes it worse.  That all causes so much anxiety I just sit here typing.  I’m not the only one.  Neither are you.

Time to push a little harder today.

Hope; the next frontier

One of the greatest gifts we have ever had is hope.  It drives us, motivates us, and comforts us through our toughest times.  When you mix equal parts hope and determination(I know there is a ton more, but poetic license keeps it shorter) you get the core of human success.  We have within us, the ability to change the world we live in.  Be it in small ways, like treating one another better or in huge ways, like dedicating oneself to the betterment of all mankind.  I see so many different people stop by and read a thing or two I have written and it give me hope, helps fuel my determination, and motivates me to keep pushing towards the goal of healing whom I can.

I watch an interesting program last night, Bill Nye Saves the World.  Last night was an episode of interest.  He and his fellow cast members spoke about holistic healing(the very subject I am just starting to delve in to).  There are SO many charlatans of all types out there that wish to pervert this cause.  Seeking only to make themselves wealthy off of human hope and fear.  Holistic healing should never cost people.  If it’s all natural, then why would you charge anyone(greed is the only answer)?  I understand research costs money, but human lives are beyond monetary value, so exploiting their health and well being for profit is despicable.  There has to be a better way, the time is now to find it.  Keep the faith everyone.  We are not alone in believing that every human is of the same worth we are.

I had a fun thought today.  What if our answers somehow are connected with technology?  Perhaps Biochemical, Biomedical, and Biomechanical can all work in unison to heal a human body, rather than just treat symptoms.  I will have to look into this.DSCF0313


Field Trip!

Today is our first day home after my son’s field trip to Washington DC.  I will attempt to do justice to everything we saw and experienced!

Our first day was that of near madness!  Starting our travels in the middle of the night we took bus and plane to reach our destination.  The only rest we all had was what little bits we got on rides and short layover.  It was an amazing whirlwind of excitement for most everyone.  For so many of the kids it was their first plane ride!  I did not expect what would come next.  Every single time they children were called upon to respect the rules at all of the memorials they were so well behaved!  We visited several great points of interest including but not limited to Mt. Vernon, The White House, the Capitol building and most of the memorials.  Also included were several of the Smithsonian museums.  Each group of us consisted of 2 adults and 4-5 students.  Our group had a magnificent variety of interested from sports to the sciences!  All of them were eager to share their interested with each other AND myself.  I felt very good that they would share that with me.  We had enough time at each museum for each student in our group to select their top choice.  The pace was hurried, but we managed to get a bit of each.

I was impressed by how easily they adapted to their surroundings.  Even the most challenging students fell in line when requested.

My favorite moments were in this order; Best moments was my sons first time in an aircraft simulator in the Smithsonian Air and Space Museum.  It was a full 360 experience.  We had such a great time.  My son opted to keep one of the photos they took.  Which happened to be the first time we were upside down!  2nd was seeing the USS Enterprise model.

My 2nd favorite was the memorial of Franklin D. Roosevelt.  I will post the quotes of his that I loved, once I get them all downloaded.  I think he will be my newest inspiration for pushing forward.  This humble man seems like how I feel.  I have much I want to offer people as far as my desire to cure mental illnesses and healing our country overall.  I am continuing to seek out ways to be able to financially be able to accomplish my goals.  I have gotten to a point in life in which I see few alternatives left, other than just pushing as hard as I can, with all the time I have left, to finding our cures.  I was able to keep my OCD under control during the trip, but near to the end I was completely overloaded and started to struggle with “keeping it together”.

BTW, skip using Southwestern Airlines.  Their flight attendants were not professional at all.  They treated our group like 2nd class passengers.

I have come to the conclusion that I would like to live on the east coast.  The history in that area is something of great interest to me.  Sometimes we must be reminded that each person of interest in history had one thing in common.  They believed in themselves and their personal quest.  I am at this point.  I will succeed or die trying.

Keep remembering, you are not alone.  No one has forgotten you.

PS. Some of the pictures are from the Jefferson Memorial!  Sorry for the initial misinformation, I was mentally overspent.

I’m Jean Valjean?

I love making connections with movies/songs/musicals.  Jean Valjean made a massive character shift in his middle ages, I look to Les Miserables for inspiration and help keep pushing myself.  Director Kevin Smith was a trailblazer for independent film makers and young dreamers alike!!!  My personal favorite, Diamond Dallas Page, started his professional Wrestling career in his late 30’s early 40’s.  He took charge of his own life and forged his own path.  Harrison Ford…most of us know his story.  He had some fame in his early years, but it was his midlife that brought the best roles to him.  Eminem (Marshal Mathers) knows the fight I’m fighting now.  He’s beaten these demons already, or at least used his battles with them and crafted some of the best music I have ever enjoyed.  Those are my celebrity “heroes” that help me believe I can do more.

My strongest inspiration in life is my own father.  From his birth to where he stands today has been nothing short of greatness in my eyes.  He came from a home with nothing, literally.  A single used toy was his Christmas, lost a brother at a very young age, and put up with the horrible mentality of a small town in the middle of north Iowa.  His accomplishments are legendary in my eyes.(many others would agree)  He joined the military right out of school and married my mother shortly after.  Their life is a success story of perseverance, dedication, faith, duty, honor, compassion, and sacrifice.  I tried to follow in my father’s footsteps, by joining the Air Force right after a little college.  I was crushed by my OCD and depression that had already  been started years before.  He, on the other hand, spent over 30 years dedicated to God, our family, and our country.  From Airman Basic to Lt. Colonel.  He had the option of taking one of several full Colonel position, but passed on them, choosing family instead.  He also passed on moving us to DC to get even higher rank, so he could focus on us more!  I have tried to be like him in every way I can.

My mother’s story is no less impressive!  From a small town farm girl, to college graduate, and beyond.  Her compassion was the perfect counter balance to my father’s harsh attitude.  She tempered us with tolerance and serenity, while my father forged us with honor and discipline. (us being my brother and I).  I have seen her as an assembly worker at an RV manufacturer, a counselor for battered women, and on to management in a great retail company.

Thanks for listening.  Thanks for stopping by.  You are not alone.  We can all make our own future.  Mine will be one that I dedicate to curing mental illness by natural means.  I will start by studying Philosophy, to look into each religions views on natural healing with words and the study of belief systems.  I will then switch to Biochemistry where I will find out how I got healed and spread that on to the world(God willing).  Thanks to this blog, anyone who stops by will know the progress!