Dark Angel: Myndra’s Song

When I took my first college level creative writing class, there was on specific exercise we did was create a short story from just one sentence.  The sentence we were given was “Mary closed the door and placed the candle on the table”.  This is a revised version of that story.  I changed the name for personal reasons.

Myndra closed the door and placed the candle on the table.  Thunder shook her apartment building as lightning clashed across the sky.  With the power knocked out from an earlier strike, the night was darker than ever.  As she turned on her shower the droplets that rained were warm and welcoming.  After casting away her clothes, she stepped in and slid the door closed as the water embraced her.  The small candles flame cast dancing shadows around cozy bathroom walls.  She closed her eyes as she turned to face the gentle cascade of water.


To the young lady stumbling down the sidewalk blocks from her house, the night was cold, cruel, and unforgiving.  The rain felt like icy tendrils as they ran down her back through drenched shirt.  The thunder claps startled her, the lighting strikes blinded her, albeit temporarily.  Her arms were folded and pressed to her body to stop from shuddering, unsuccessfully.  No one could her sobs, she knew no one would care.  The moment she hit the concrete, struck by one last straw, her mind nearly gave up.  She had ignored a cracked heel on her shoe in her haste to leave a lost battle of a broken relationship.  This shattered soul let herself lay upon the cold stone and simply cry.

“Are you ok?” asked Myndra in a worried tone.  She had seen a young woman take a quick fall as she stood under the awning of her apartment building, while having a short smoke.  Strolling across the barren street she noticed the girl just laying on the cold hard sidewalk and wondered if something horrible had just happened.  Half away across she started to jog.  With a trembling hand she reach out and took a firm hold on the fallen girls shoulder.  “Hey”, was all she could get out as the seemingly dormant body shrieked and lashed at her.  Both had now been spooked past the point of reason and a short nearly harmonic set of screams cried out for a brief second.  The following moment seemed to pass as minutes when their eyes finally met.

Clouds had parted every so slightly, just enough to shine the moons rays through the storm.   Ebon hair was accented with stands made silver from moonbeams.  The eyes she was staring into had created a respite from this night’s grief filled torment.  She reach up and her hand was met by a soft, strong grip.  She allowed herself to be helped up. “You’re drenched and shivering, come up to my room and dry off” came a voice that was soothing.  A weak nod of her head was all she could muster.

The pair walked back across the empty road, the pouring rain had deterred most travelers on this soon to be auspicious night.  Myndra placed a comforting arm around the slender shoulders of her new found companion.  The notion of consolation seemed to be welcomed by this trepid soul.  She picked up her candle from just inside the doors of her building.  Lighting it had been a slight challenge, but her persistence and not completely soaked lighter finally ignited the already charred wick.  Myndra led the way up a single flight of stairs, easily navigated by candlelight.  She was grateful not to be one of the poor sods on the sixth floor.

“My names Kayla, by the way” her voice was nearly horse from the agitation of this evenings events.  “I appreciate your kindness”.

“I’m Myndra, nice to meet you” was her reply to the first words uttered by this beautiful dove who now stood in her dark home.

Kayla gazed around the small apartment seeing a pattern of black and white photos and posters, who’s contrast was only altered by a single pair of light pink ballet shoes hanging on a pillar between a tiny kitchen and humbly furnished living room.  Several candles cast dancing shadows.  She sighed, taking in breath and exhaling heavily, letting the new scenery placate her previously frantic thoughts.  All she could do was smile slightly.  She sat down on the futon, as requested.  Looking up, she was relieved to see Myndra’s gaze meet her own again, reassuring and consoling.  Her host was tall and lithe, long dark hair hung low and straight from the rain.  She was reminded of Morticia Addams, her smile widened just a bit more at the thought. (to be continued)



an odd coincidence

My favorite Netflix original got cancelled today.  Sense8.  Read this article: http://www.msn.com/en-us/tv/news/%E2%80%98sense8%E2%80%99-cancellation-makes-twitter-lose-its-mind-%E2%80%93-especially-on-day-1-of-pride-month/ar-BBBMT23?li=BBmkt5R&ocid=spartandhp

if you would like to see an opinion of why.  I happen to think there is no such thing as coincidence.  Cancelling a show that feature truest equality all across the board on the day a LGBT pride month starts.  That is quite a loud message, in my opinion.  I’m ready to see the future we all believed in.  Where everyone was equal, just like it says.  No lines, no mention of race, sex, gender, or religion.  Just us, the human race, treating each other as equals.  Respectful, polite, courteous, and even helpful.  There should be no “coincidence” about this subject.

I really hope I’m not alone in this.  Every person is the same, in a manner.  How can we not treat each the same.  Fairness, Karma, Justice.  Every person should be identified by their name and attitude.  No other factor matters at the point of first contact.  Even beyond that, a preconceived idea about a person based on information gained from any other person of similar feature is wrong.  Their personal life beyond the moment of contact is irrelevant to any other person at any other time.  If they like something you don’t, it’s not your concern.  If you make it your concern, you are wrong.  You can choose to never associate with any undesirable human.  We have to return to reason, because what I see going on lately, is unreasonable.


Obsessive Compulsive Disorder; part me

One of my many hurdles is the OCD.  This last round is especially challenging.  Once an obsession passes, the previous point of interest is completely forgotten even to the point of being disinteresting.  I started my blog on one such obsessive moments.  I find it challenging to come back and continue writing.  But, part of my current depression treatment is really helping me observe and take action when I realize the OCD is “in control”.  For those that don’t suffer from or have heard of OCD it’s very difficult for me to describe.  I tell people, I think of the worst possible outcome to every single scenario I have ever thought of.  I tell them about the internal pointless rage.  I tell them about the lack of impulse control.  I explain that Obsessive is just that, but it’s just as easy to forget that obsession.  Unless you live it, it could be hard to grasp.  I lived for 41 years before knowing that I was dealing with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.  I had to do my own research into the all of the mental symptoms, but the physical repetition was easy to spot.  In 1995 the US Air Force wrote in a side note that I was Obsessive Compulsive.  I was not told what that meant.  I was not treated.  I was discarded without further explanation due to previous infractions brought on by the disorder.  I didn’t even know that what they did was ethically questionable.  I was swept away so quick I was denied by Montgomery GI Bill due to a length of service violation.  I had a disorder that they didn’t know how to handle, so I was booted and forgotten without even knowing what Obsessive Compulsive meant. Let alone that it was a disorder that has no cure.  This realization hurts.  I am going to go back to school this fall in order to help prevent my story from ever being repeated.  That’s been my plan all along, but I forget what I’m doing at times.  The faded obsession in easily forgotten.  Lucky for me I have this Blog, and all of you that stop by, to help remind me.  A life goal is not a passing obsession.  I can push and complete it, without fearing loss of interest.  I worry every day that I will simply fall back to my old habits and forget that I have to find a cure.  Depression first, then Anxiety, and then mental disorders like OCD.  If you know what it’s like, any word I have said, then you are not alone.

a word on Faith

I like “what if” questions.  They have been asked by some of the greatest minds in the world.  Throughout history “what if” has helped guide us to better places.

What if the world is NOT flat?  What if we could feed EVERYONE?  What if we could heal EVERYONE?  What if…what if every religion holds truth in it?  What if we are not supposed to be infighting?  What if we are supposed to bridge the gaps in humanity with each different faith.  Believe in one another.  Instead of doubt, smile at someone you don’t understand.  Ask them about why they feel the way they do.  LISTEN to them, don’t wait for your turn to talk.  Don’t hold a pre conceived notion that they are wrong and you are right, and vise versa.  Try to understand what they mean.  Reach out to them, instead of push them away.

Didn’t we learn in school to read the WHOLE story and then give our opinion and idea of what it meant?  Why should we treat any other human differently?  I think so much is lost in translation that we forget to form our own real opinions.  We rely on media and celebrities to tell us how we’re supposed to react and feel about situations.

We are still all the same species.  The same race.  I don’t see any orcs or elves around.  Some might argue there are trolls alive on the internet, but they are just angry humans.  Many yearn to be heard.  So many yearn for validation of their existence.

I tried an experiment lately.  I go out of my way to say nice things about people.  No matter the race/sex/gender/religion/age.  I tell people it’s nice to see them.  Because it is.  I don’t say these things to lie to a person, I pick something out that I like.  Nice hair!  Cool hat!  That head wrap is a really neat pattern.  Your name sounds interesting.  I like your accent.  It’s very easy.

I hope you all have a great day.  I am going to spend the rest of mine with my family.

Remember.  You are not alone.

Whatever happened?

Whatever happened to the Leaders?  The ones we looked to that embodied EVERYTHING we wanted a leader to be?  Where did they go?  Honesty, Integrity, Honor, Sacrifice, Compassion, Humility, Faith, Justice, and Fairness?  Why do we now SETTLE for the LEAST HATED of the candidates???  What in God’s name is going on in our beautiful country?  Racism still?  I caste like system?  Religious persecution?  The United States of America was NOT founded on the garbage base we have today.  Our leaders no longer represent what we, THE PEOPLE, cherish and believe in.  I think it’s time we start asking ourselves.  Whatever happened to ourselves?  Why are we letting each other endure all of this horror that still exists in the world?  Didn’t we used to stand for one another?  Brothers and Sisters of all color, gender, sex, and religion?  When did we LET ourselves feel separated from our community?  Separated by class, house of worship, job, and education level.  Why does a single one of us not stand up and say ENOUGH!  WE ARE DONE LETTING YOU DO THIS TO US.  We, the people of these United States of America, in order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common DEFENCE, promote the general Welfare, and secure the BLESSINGS of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain to establish this Constitution for the United States of America.  Remember that?  Seems like a change is in order.

We are all gifted.

My gifts are creativity, imagination, compassion, empathy, humor, and hope.  My hope is that we won’t stay in our current depressed state for much longer.  Every day is a step closer.

What are yours?  Your words?  Your actions?  We all have them, we don’t always acknowledge them.  Can you smile even though the pain is overwhelming?  Can you keep a stiff upper lip in a battle you don’t feel you can win?  Do you go out of your way to make others feel good?  Make them laugh?  Do you stand up every day, even though all you want to do is not move?  You are not alone in your struggles.

This message was not for everyone, but there are a few that need to hear it now.  Thanks for reading!

I like you!

I like when you stop by.  I like when you take your time to visit me.  We don’t know each other yet.  My story is an interesting one, in my mind.  The fact that a single one of you stops by to read and reach out is so amazing.  The ones with messages, BBB and CM, thanks for choosing to be my friend.  I hope you find peace in your days.  Reach out of me if you are ever in need, for real.  I will try and help.  We are all one species.  One race.  There is little difference between us, if you really think about it.  We are men and women.  Some are both.  Some are different shades of human.  Yet we all struggle with things.  Not the same things, but our feelings are similar.  We all hurt, we all cry, we all feel courage when we need it.  We look to our heroes in times of need.  We all, each of us, can stand as a beacon in the darkness.  You are not alone out there.  My troubles by seem trivial to some, but they are the hardest things I will ever know.  Yours are just as real, just as important.  Every time you cry, we are all here.  There are times when I want to lay down and sleep it all away.  I am tired.  I don’t know if I have what it takes.  I will never know unless I take that leap of faith.  It’s crazy of me to pick up and go to school in CT, but it feels like the right thing to do.  I have so much to learn and it seems like the best place to start.  I worry constantly.  Just like the rest of you.  Will we make it?  Who knows.  But I will keep pushing, so that one day no one will know what it’s like to have OCD.  One day the world won’t be so depressed.  There is always hope.  There is always light.  Each one of us has it within.  We just have to share it.  One candle is nice.  All of them can light up the world.

Sense8 Season 1 and 2

This title says it.  Sense8 is a Netflix Original that I would highly recommend.  The story is amazingly intricate and interwoven.  The show itself is a beautiful tapestry of stories that can been seen as 1 and yet 8, at the same time.  The actors/actress’ are all phenomenal in their roles.  Each can reach out to at least one viewer, in the end, you yourself can feel connected to each character by proxy.  Parts of the show even seem relevant to real life issues.